A little while ago I tried to play Startropics, but I forgot to write about it at the time. I guess that's because it really didn't make a big impression on me. Which actually kind of surprised me. See, back when the game was released I remember reading about it in Nintendo Power and thinking it looked completely awesome. It was an action-RPG like Zelda, but it was based in the modern world. There was a kid and he had weapons like yo-yo's and things like that. I don't know. It seemed like it would be pretty rad.
And maybe it would have been if I had played it back then. I'm not sure. But in 2019, it's pretty far from rad for me. Over the years, I think I had sort of expected Startropics to be something like Earthbound. I guess I had built it up in my head as this sort of cool cult classic or something. So when it hit the Switch Online service, I was thrilled to give it a go.
Startropics is not a good Zelda clone for me. I've played good Zelda clones. Stuff like Crystalis comes to mind. But this, ugh. It just feels so clunky. Everything about it feels clunky. The talking to the same NPC's over and over to trigger events; the way combat moves; the switching items and weapons; even the way you move. Like, I can't explain it properly but there's a "hopping" mechanic that just feels terribly antiquated to me and I can't seem to enjoy playing the game at all.
Like I said, maybe I could have been into this one as a kid, but now I just don't have the patience. I was able to give this game about an hour of my attention before moving on to something else.