The Saints Row series is an interesting one. I don't even know if it's a good series. But the history and evolution of the games is definitely interesting. Developed by Volition, the series started life as fairly blatant Grand Theft Auto clones. The first Saints Row, published in 2006 came hot off the heels of the run of Grand Theft Auto III, Vice City, and San Andreas. And while Saints Row sold well – notably because it launched in the 360 era, but before Grand Theft Auto IV was released, it was never a game that caught my attention personally.
Saints Row 2 actually dropped the same year as Grand Theft Auto IV, and while I've never played it myself, my understanding is that it's mostly more of the same. And had the series' trajectory continued on this way, I'd probably never have played a Saints Row game at all. But Saints Row: The Third caught my attention for being something completely unique. With this third game, Volition leaned hard into their weirder impulses and instead of delivering a Grand Theft Auto clone, they instead came up with a parody of the entire open world steal-cars-and-shoot-people genre. Oddly, I didn't even discover Saints Row: The Third until 2020 after I had read the book, Wrestling With Pixels. It might seem strange that a history of wrestling video games would lead me to this game. But there's a whole big sub-plot involving a wrestler who is voiced by Hulk Hogan. So you never know what you're going to learn and from where. And as I dug deeper down the rabbit hole, I found out about how Saints Row had all kinds of expansions involving aliens, a spin-off that takes place in Hell, a sequel where you're the president, not to mention a shared universe with both Agents Of Mayhem (a superhero game) and the Red Faction series, which takes place way in the future. It's kind of a crazy mess, but sometimes I like crazy messes. I still don't know if I'm missing anything by skipping the first two Saints Row games, but The Third is honestly pretty damn great. By not trying to be GTA, and instead doing its own thing, it feels really unique. And the two opening missions really do a lot to suck you into the rollercoaster ride. First, you're involved with a botched robbery that elevates quickly to involve helicopters. Then you're literally skydiving from one plane to another. It's exciting stuff, and makes you take notice. To fully appreciate The Third, I think you need to put it in context. This game was released in a very interesting period, sandwiched between some major Grand Theft Auto releases. This one came after Episodes From Liberty City – the two major expansions for Grand Theft Auto IV, but before Grand Theft Auto V. To that end, it feels like Volition beat Rockstar to the punch, at least as far as scope goes. Now, I'd have to say that GTA5 is the better game, but The Third is right up there in ambition and scope. Your first order is clearing out Pierce's missions, which result in an ad hoc tutorial. You'll learn to buy gear, drive cars, escort, and so on. But it all feels pretty organic. Honestly, this game does a great job of making every mission feel fun. It doesn't matter if it's a quick objective, or a long drawn out one. Saints Row: The Third is undeniable a good time from moment to moment. Take for example the Genki missions. These are literally a modern day Smash TV. Or The Running Man? It's a reality show where you kill dudes wearing silly costumes in deadly rooms. It's dumb fun and it's certainly not grounded in reality. But it's a blast. Between missions you can screw around and figure out what to spend money on. Do you upgrade your skills and perks? Do you unlock new weapons and upgrades? For me, I've been pretty into just buying as much real estate as I can. In a way, this adds in a weird economic sim that I really enjoy. The more property I buy, the more passive income I have between missions. It's like thinking smart and slow at first, to then have a steadier flow of income later. Just the fact that the game is open-ended enough to offer me this option is kind of great. And let's talk about the open world itself. The open world of Saints Row: The Third is great. It's full of life in a way only really rivaled by Grand Theft Auto V. And much like my many hours screwing around in that game, you can easily decide to just ignore the missions here and pick a direction to go investigate. I guarantee that if you do, you'll walk away with an anecdote to tell. But like I said, the economics of The Third is a big draw for me. After every mission, I check my surroundings and just buy up whatever property I can afford around me. At first, this seems like it does nothing. But after a few hours, you start raking in so much extra passive cash, it's awesome. Then you use that cash to buy more properties. Then you use THAT cash to upgrade perks and weapons ands abilities. It's a great loop. Along with world-building comes an interesting soundtrack. There's not a huge number of stations in-game, but the variety is enjoyable. If I steal a car, I tend to leave it on whatever radio station the previous owner had it set on. To me, this adds a certain realism or at least feels like a proper in-game soundtrack. It's all by chance. If I'm in my own car, I tend to flip to my personal playlist which leans heavily on 80's and 90's stuff. Though I must say that for all the insane over-the-topness of this game, the classical station often fits the visuals rather well. All I know is that any game that can juxtapose classical music next to the Deftones is going to win some points in my book. It's hard to rave about this game seriously, because it doesn't take itself all that seriously. But sometimes stupid fun is just what the doctor orders. Let's say that your wife just had surgery and you've been off of work on short notice and trying to explain to a three year old why we have to let mummy rest. Well, then Saints Row: The Third is probably really good mindless stupid fun. I've played missions this week involving driving an angry tiger around the city. I've played VR missions reminiscent of the bonus stages in Sonic The Hedgehog 2. I've attended a party full of assassin hookers. I've made my way out of a penthouse naked and drugged. I've taken on the STAG – a militant group set on destroying your gang. I've kidnapped a superhero. All of this sounds deranged, but it's barely the tip of the iceberg here. The only missions I truly hate are the Guardian Angel ones. You basically have to snipe stuff to keep a friend alive. These missions are annoying and easy to botch. At least for me. Luckily such trash missions are few and far between. And before you know it, you're back to another mission that knocks your socks off. There's a late game mission inside of VR. I don't even know exactly what the right reference point is. It's a little bit Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions. A little bit Soul Hackers. There's actual nods to Mega Man. And the end battle feels very latter day Final Fantasy. Whatever it is, it's awesome and stupid at the same time. If there's one thing I like in any game, it's throwing me off and pleasantly surprising me. The weirder the better. I don't really care about budgets at the end of the day. And I don't really even care about a game being "good" or "bad." All I care about is a game being interesting. Can you keep me engaged until the end credits roll? That's what's really important. Missions toward the end find you taking down an entire aircraft carrier. And meeting the mayor, Burt Reynolds. And I don't mean he voiced the role. I mean the mayor was actually Burt Reynolds. Oh and then there's a zombie apocalypse. And then you have to do a Fire Pro style wrestling match. All of which culminates in you shooting a movie on Mars. If all of this sounds insane, well it is. But that's honestly what makes Saints Row: The Third so great. It's not an especially great open world. It's not that the writing is exceptional. It's more that it's so surreal and just keeps you invested with constant stimulus from new missions with dizzying variety that it's hard not to smile and have a great time from beginning to end. It's genuinely rare that I finish games like this. Grand Theft Auto V was a shining example. But I have to say that in some respects, Saints Row: The Third beat Rockstar to the punch. Both are stellar examples of the sub-genre to be sure. All I can say is that I'm thrilled that I somehow stumbled upon this game, because normally I'd overlook something like this. But I had a total blast for my dozen or so hour run. And really, the whole thing was so bizarre and unique that I might actually be a fan of the series now. Certainly, I'm more prone to check out other entries for sure.
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